Saturday, October 25, 2008

Your Nipples Must Be Hard - Another One Strikes the Dust

It is a special talent I have to attract men to be so bold and disrespectful. And so here is another snippit of A Day in the Life of KD King.

I have chatted, emailed, and talked to this guy. We will call him Byron (Heck that's his real name. You act like an ass, you get called out). He lives a couple of hours away. So we're talking long distance. However he says his work brings him to Atlanta often. Let me talk about the good points, he started his own non-profit foundation working with the youth (talk about big brownie points, it so important to be about something bigger than yourself), he has no kids (we ALL know how I feel about that), he is over 6 feet (yup nothing but good things), and for the most part he seemed like a cool guy. Again only talked and chatted have yet to meet.

The phone rings
"Hey Sweetie"
Who the hell is this?"Hello, may I ask who is calling" In my standard professional phone voice (not 1-900 professional, but I need a job interview professional)

Look y'all talking to someone on the phone doesn't make me sweetie and it had been a few weeks since I talked to him. Heck I had already cancelled him out in my mind.

We got the pleasantries out the way (ie who the hell was this calling me). After I realized who it was I asked could I call him back. I was at work.
"Yeah, but be sure to call me back. I'll be in town this weekend and I want cuddle up with you." Now let me clarify that I couldn't tell if he said get up with you or cuddle up with you. I shook it off figuring I definitely read too many nasty novels and realized he said get up with you. (He's born and bred southern boy, all the words I don't always understand) I told him I would call him back.
In actuality, it was a bad weekend. I was busy all weekend. I called him back during lunch, he didn't answer I left a nice polite voicemail.

Monday morning rolls around. I'm cruising in my car lamenting on how I'm never freaking on time, adjusting the heat because its 45 freaking degrees outside (yes I know I'm from Chicago, but cold is cold), my cell phone rings. Its Byron.
We chatted, generic pleasantries. (I know its hard to believe for those who know me, but I'm really not talkative in the mornings. Im just not a morning person). He told me he didn't make it to Atlanta. He wanted to come down but of course he needed to check with me cause he wanted to visit me. We chat some more mundane topics - price of gas, weather.
"It's flipping cold here. I'm freezing. It's 45 degrees outside."
"Your nipples must nice be hard."
What!? "Well you have a nice day, Good-bye."
"What? Well damn good-bye"
Click

Potential Date #4567 - cancelled. Same story different guy. Conclusion - It really IS me.

See next posting "De Nile is more than a river in Egypt..."