Sunday, November 9, 2008

Off Topic - Best and Worst Primetime Sex Scene

Okay so I have several shows I like, but only ONE that has turned me into a utter and complete addict. TRUE BLOOD, an HBO series about Vampires in Louisiana, comes on Sunday nights at 9pm. TRUE BLOOD is based on The Southern Vampire Series by Charlaine Harris. (I must say now that's its a show I refuse to read the books because I don't want to know what's going to happen, but I do find myself sneaking peaks at reviews. Knowing me I'll break down and read them though.) Now technically because it is on cable I don't know that it counts as prime-time, but this is my blog so I say it does.

**THIS COMMENTARY CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Two weeks ago I watched an episode with the nastiest sex scene ever. Sookie - a 26 year old waitress with the ability to hear others thoughts, goes to Bill's grave, her 150+ yr old vampire boyfriend who devirgined her the previous week, to mourn him. Some locals set fire to a vampire house where he was staying. She caught wind of it and left him several voicemails but he didn't answer his phone. Four bodies were found one to be assumed Bill. (The bodies were liquefied, but there were four vampires staying there including Bill). She mourns him that night by laying flowers on his grave (his original grave from when he was assumed dead back during the civil war). As she turns to leave, a hand shoots up from the ground, grabbing her ankle. She scrambles to get away, the hand holding her is too tight and she falls to the ground, providing leverage for the being below. She begins to crawl away. More of the underground body is revealed.
"Sookie" the southern drawl cries.
It was Bill covered in dirt. He was a different complexion he was so dirty. Dirty and very very NAKED. They kiss. Right there and the mud covered cemetery ground they go at it. Now it's HBO so they show him looking down, shifting his hips, and that grunt of first penetration.

I turned my head. That was just damn nasty. His dirt covered dick inserting her.(And yes I know it's not real). I thought man, they had better write a yeast infection into next weeks script.

So that got me to thinking about the BEST sex scene on prime time television. I didn't have to think long. There is an undisputed champion in my mind that no show's sex scene has even come close to knocking them off their pedestal. I remember all the commotion around it. Fans of the show talked about the next day and the first thing they said "Man did you see that sex scene?"
Well let me not keep you waiting. The show (and one of my top five all time favorite shows) BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. Yeah I know you guys must be thinking I have a thing for vampires. What can I say, I love my fanged creatures on the big and small screen.

Since Buffy is off the air, I feel any summarizing is fair game and not in the least bit considered a spoiler. And it has been several years since its been off the air so my memory may be lacking or mixing up a few details, but here goes.
Spike is a vampire, a bad guy. He was kidnapped by this secret government sect and implanted with a chip so that anytime he went to hurt/kill a human it would go off causing him excruciating pain. However for some reason the chip didn't go off on Buffy. (We think it has something to do with her coming back from the dead...again). Buffy didn't know this. He faked it to use at an opportune time. Buffy, the vampire slayer, and Spike were in an alley. I believe arguing. (Keep in mind Spike is no longer a bad guy, at least by action, because he cannot hurt anyone). She hits him, knocks him down. He retaliates and hits her across the alley into a wall. (Side note - they both have superhuman strength). They go at it fighting, until one of them knocks the other so hard they go hauling through this abandoned building. Now it's on. They are kicking each others ass. The building is falling around them (not collapsing, they are throwing each other through walls, knocking them into bricks so some of them fall). Then they turn ready to go back. I don't know whose turn it is but they stop. And for one long electrifying moment they just stare at each other. All the anger, passion, and energy of the moment is still there, ready to be released. Who makes the first move, I can't remember. But they are kissing. You hear the unbuckling of pants, the zipping of zippers, Buffy is lifted up and raised down. A moan escapes her. The fall some more (literally). The still manage to tear up more of the building, but this time not because of fighting, but well...fucking. The grunts, the groans, the lifting up and down, the flexing of hips. It was all pretty graphic even with them being fully clothed. After it's all over she grabs her clothes (or something) tries to make a move for it and leave. He grabs her by the wrist (can't remember what he said), lifted her up and the came down with a moan. I thought "Damn this shit is graphic for regular TV." But it was still hot as hell.

So those are my two best and worst I started to do it for books, but with me being a writer and all I just didn't have the spirit (or balls) to do it.

So what is your best and worst sex scene on TV?

*As you can tell I'm stalling on my own internal analysis "Denile is more than a river in Egypt."
Have no fear folks, it is coming.*