The date that almost happened. Booty Call?

So I had a date planned for this friday. My first non-online date in years. The plan was to go to a blues club on the south side. Now y'all know that's right up my alley. We made these plans Tuesday. I didnt hear from him Wed or Thurs. For those of you who say it is my job to call next. I honestly was busy. I was working or had appointments and I dont make calls after 10pm. But i digress...

Friday comes around and I just have a feeling its not going to happen. I wasnt worried about what I was going to wear, hell I still had on my doo rag. I called (after 5pm. Let a brotha get off work). No answer. I was in the kitchen chatting with a friend (clearly not rushed to get ready) and she said text and double check. I did. I sent a simple text to ask if we were still on for tonight.
He replies around 6 (date is for 8pm). That he is tied up at work and cant make it.

Now really I'm not boo boo the fool. One of two things occured here. 1. He was held up at work and couldn't make it. No big deal. But the lack of courtesy to call and let me know. Riight. 2. He changed his mind. Again no big deal. Just let me know earlier.
Either way I don't care. I had a sense it wasnt going to happen anyway. You know women know. I never programmed his number. Nothing like that. I do a simple text of maybe next time or something like that.

THEN....
Do you know this negro had the nerve to TEXT me the next day
"Are u down for a booty call?" 9:52pm
"How about some chicken and vodka?"10:15pm

Sadly I dont know which text I find more disgusting.

"Me Tarzan, You Jane"

Yup that is a direct quote from last night. I'm not giving it in full context, but its not that important. It's still a direct quote. (Same lip licking guy from previous post). Now I know I have mentioned several times throughout the lifetime of No Sex In The Metro that I like an assertive guy. I am all about traditional roles. I'm old fashioned kind of gal (with new school taste). But never did I think someone would actually say "Me Tarzan, You Jane."

Hunh! The nerve! The audacity! The indignation! The...I did give him my number.
We'll see.

Fellas - Licking Your Lips Is Not Sexy. It Means Your Broke!

Yup I said it. LL Cool J has gotten men thinking the licking of the lips is sexual and sexy and alludes to all types of wanton behavior. Not for this woman. It means your ass is too broke to buy Chapstick.

Yesterday I was out having a drink and this man walks up to me. Well actually invaded my personal space is more like it, but I digress. We talked until I left the bar. During the whole conversation he kept licking his lips. I can tell he thought it was sexy and spoke volumes. It did. "My lips are chap and I cant afford chapstick." It was sooo annoying. All I could think about was his slobby ass lips that he thought were sexy. I mean every 5 freaking minutes. I blame LL Cool J for this.

I think I'm getting old, because I no longer find it attractive on LL. Nope I find myself looking at him thinking "Man get some Blistex." Its sexy if you do it once, MAYBE twice. After that its just a cry for Vaseline.

No Dates in the Metro

Its been a few months since I've had a date. If I dont get one soon I might have to rename this blog into "No Dates, Sex, Men...in the Metro"

Dont worry, I'll restart my life of prostitution to get some good tidbits for the blog. Anything for my adoring fans.

It's Not Her, It's Him - Yes I'm talking about Fantasia

When will women learn - the other woman is just pussy. You know what sparked this whole commentary. Fantasia. She is being sued for being the other woman. And you know there was a case in Florida where the married woman won when she sued the other woman. I don't know why women always blame the other woman. Now let me just say I have never been the other woman. I love and respect myself too much. Plus who wants a trifling ass cheater.
But the other woman -she's just pussy. It maybe named, Sue, Mary, Jane, Fantasia, but the woman wasn't the problem. It was your cheating ass trifling man. Cheating is a decision. First the man decides to cheat. Now it maybe a split second decision, but it is a decision none the less. I have been out on some windy days, but never have I seen a gust of wind so strong that if makes a mans pants fall off and fall in some punany. NO he DECIDED to stick his dick there. And HE is the one who committed and promised to be faithful to you. The woman well she was a vessel. THAT woman didn't take your man. Your man decided to leave and she was just some pussy.


And to "The Other Woman" - Karma is a bitch. Whereas, I don't believe in going after the other woman hey, Karma is Karma. Maybe it will make you think twice before engaging in amorale behavior. And if/when the wife wins. That doesn't make you a ho, its makes you a John(ette) cause you basically just paid for the dick.

Its been a long time - Chicago Dating

Well alot has happened since my last post. I have been beyond negligent. I dont know what caused me to start a dating blog. Though in my mind I'm a dating machine, the dates are far and few between and yet I'm still trying to find out what a "normal" dating experience is.

I've moved back to my hometown - Chicago. The dating scene is very different and I find my self emboldened.
Example.
The music is blaring, I'm leaning on the counter of the bar. My hips sway to the music. A man (a tall man - and you know how I feel about them) approaches me, puts his hand around my waist (not tightly and he wasn't by my butt), and asks for my number. I turn my head and look at him and say "Buy me a drink"
Can you believe this broke fool said he couldn't. I shrugged my shoulders and said "You gotta pay to play" and walked away.

Then there was the really boring guy. Great on paper, just didn't click at all. And I really tried for a click but just cant force it. He was socially awkward and well not a man's man. And you know I like a manly man.

Oh and I cant forget every online daters worse fear. The gentle southern, mixed race 36 year old ended up be a very unattractive 50 year old man who is no more mixed than every other black person. I mean I didn't leave, because you guys know how I am about a free meal. But trust and believe as soon as I chewed my last bite I was peace.

Then there is the guy that everytime I see him, he asks for my number. I am soo disinterested from his looks, his height, the fact he actually says shit like "come here. come here. come here."
Really we are not 8. You are grown if your ass wants my number at least get your lazy ass up an walk the 8 paces to ask me. Then he always wants a hug, to which I respond "nah I have personal space issues." Last time he asked for my number (mind you he asked me from a table away cause getting up to collect was apparantly too much effort) I told him "NO" like all other times. Do you know this fool had the nerve to ask me why.
"Because I am completely uninterested. I have no desire to give you my number and get to know you."

Sometimes you just gotta be honest. "No" was not working.