I'm fabulous, now get on the bandwagon

Ive been online dating off and on for a while now. I go through phases where I'm on every site available and other phases where I say this ain't working and give it the proverbial middle finger.

I'm in between both. I socialize on a fairly regular basis. Having realized that I dont get enough UPS deliveries and when i do they dont require signatures, so God was probaby not going to send me the delivery man (at least not the one on my route).  So I get out. I enjoy life. And if my future husband happens to be out and spots me, all the better.

Meanwhile I'm on two online dating sites. My happy medium.  I went and perused my online dating profile to double check what I wrote (honestly I didn't remember). I read my profile and chuckled and smiled and really saw how fabulous the owner of the profile is. Heck, I'd date me.

OMG!!!!

I am so totally awesome I'm smart, funny, domesticated (I cook, cleanish, I sew buttons back on shirts and minor stitching), adaptable, artistic, I got yoback, personality for days, AND I'm kinky(ish).

What the hell is the problem?

Ask for my number, call, and lets have a date.

Don't ask me at 5 what I'm doing. Come through (via text or IM mind you).
Quit asking me when we gone meet or some variation but never ask to meet for coffee. Hell I'll take a bottle of water and a bookstore (actually that is right up my alley. It sounds fabulous. Bring me TWO bottles of water please). And I tell them I'm open for meeting, a date, etc. Never happens.
And if all you plan to do is email and text, then why waste our time? I got better things to do than text a mofo I will never meet. Even if that something better is scratching my left ass cheek. Cuz you know u aint trying to date, court, meet, etc. See if im down for coming over for booty. DEFINITELY. Anything else. NO.

I know men r different. Not used to chasing. Definitely not courting,  but come on.
Really?

I said it once and ill say it again. I'm a gazelle looking for a lion.
Not just any gazelle.

A FABULOUS GAZELLE!

I want be chased (then pounced and eaten. But some stuff comes after the chase and before the pounce).

Hell for the right lion I will white girl trip and fall
"Oh you got me!"

I need a Hitch in my life.  A MALE dating guru. Someone to tell me how all these men are missing damn near the greatest catch of the century. Ill accept it could be me, now where is my Hitch or my Lion?

On a side note. Ill try to post here more often than every year or ever other year. I promise. I'm shooting for once a month or every other month and my dating (or rather non dating life) progresses.
Next post "Kinky don't mean HOE. Step Off..."

And don't worry.  Ill will be posting on my youtube channel as well.