Discussion: Worst date ever

Well its a tie between the guy who insulted me and called me talentless throughout coffee and my date with "Bob". Since I mentioned the insulting guy I'll tell you about "Bob".

In an age where life is work and work is life, sometimes its hard to find people to date. The onset of internet dating sites has helped move that path along. I was on several dating sites (and really I still am, hell I need something to type in this blog). One of which was a site called blackvoices. It garnered me a few dates. Not bad, not great, but hey it was free.

I received a witty email from a guy named "Bob", so I responded. Witty emails always get me. I hate those one liners "Tell me about you." or "Hello" and all other things unimaginitive. I prefer not to do all the damn work to get to know someone...but I digress. We exchanged emails for a bit. And of course we exchanged pictures. Let me tell you something "Bob" was not my type. He was cute, but he was a big dude. Now I couldn't tell how big because I only had a head shot, but I could tell he was not my normal average build I like. I'm all about giving everyone a shot, and he did have a cute face *cringing* (I can't believe I just said that. Cause if someone said that to me, there would be a bitch slapping coming two seconds later. Hell my gut, which is strictly for decoration, is sexy.) I say that because all I saw was his face. I shrugged it off. We continuted to exchange emails. We exchanged phone numbers and chatted it up abit.
My God that man talked more than I did, which was some feat. But other than that it was cool, cause he did listen. Oh you guys will love this he as a music producer. Roight! Well for those of you unfamiliar with Atlanta culture damn near EVERYONE here is in the music business or trying to get into it. So that was no big surprise, cause he had a regular job to pay his bills until the production thing got off. So a brother with a plan and sensible. Hell I'm a writer, but my "pay the bills" job isn't. He was in QA (aka "a computer dude").
Now the first mistake was him suggesting a vegetarian chinese place. Now you know you need to quit fronting. I'm big you big, why the hell are we going to a vegetarian place. But whatever I'm into new things. So I agreed.
I arrived first (I sooo didn't intend to do that). He got off work late. (Damn him for ruining my plan of getting there after him). I sat in my car and waited (why cause I didn't want to wait in the restaurant. Besides he didn't know what time I got there, so I was able to say "oh I just pulled up")
I saw him in his car and thought "Wow, he's bigger than I thought." (Nothing against big dudes. Hell I'm a big girl. But its all about preference. Two big ass guts rubbing against each other, with no penetration. that's just not my thing. More power to those who work it out, it's just not me.)
Then he got out of the car and my mouth fell. Oh my goodness, he is waaaaaaaaay bigger than I thought. He bent over to get something out of the car and I thought it was going to be a cane to help him walk. It wasn't. It was a bag or briefcase.
We greeted and went into the restaurant. The interior was decorated with red and gold. The restaurant only had a couple of other patrons. The lighting was dim, creating a warm and cozy atmosphere. We were seated immediately.
Now if you remember I said he was a talker, so really there was nothing for me to say after "Hello" he took it from there. He raved about the restaurant. "Oh try their soup."
Now for those of you who may have struggled with your weight like I have, you may remember that "cabbage soup diet." Well THATS what their soup was. I ate damn cabbage soup enough to recognize it.
"Man my boys took me out to eat I am stuffed." He rubbed his belly for effect.
Now I also knew he had gotten paid that day so he couldn't be too broke to pay so that wasn't a worry, but what the hell. I shrugged it off and studied the menu. Wondering what the hell I would eat from a freaking vegan restaurant. Oh yes I discovered when I got there it was vegan.
People I'm from the midwest. We eat three things there. Meat, meat, and meat. Yes we love our potatoes and corn but only as side dish to our meat.

"Oh I know what you want."

I was busy studying the menu, I looked up at him silently asking him to answer the question that I did not ask - What do I want to eat?

"You're looking at that General Tso's chicken aren't you?"

Now keep in mind the chicken is fake. Of course I didn't want that. Nor did I ever mention anythign about being a huge fan of chicken to make him think that. I didn't know if he was throwing a hint, so I looked at the price of the general tso and looked at the price of what I wanted and realized there was only a $2 difference in price. I looked at him like he was stupid. "No, i was actually looking at the five pot stew."

"Oh okay that looks cool, too." He commented again on how full he was cause he ate a big lunch.

Now NORMALLY I'm not one to talk about people, but come on. The both of us had probably never skipped a meal in our life no matter what the previous meal consisted of. Now all of a sudden you are stuffed beyond belief. Roight.

"Well I'm not hungry, but get whatever you want. I had a big lunch."
WTF? "Okay"

We continued to talk aka he continued to talk. The waitress brought out a big pot of rice, as normal with a asian restaurant and two plates. Why did she bring out two plates? I watched her place them on the table and walk away, but I said nothing. My face took on a slight frown, but I quickly shook it off and continued to listen, partially, to "Bob".

I feel the need to defend a bit. I was able to talk during the dinner. But yes at several points I just heard echoes of noise and didn't really pay attention.
The waitress brought his soup out.

People I'm sure we've all been to restaurants andordered soup as a meal and you get a nice big bowl of soup. This wasn't it. This was the small appetizer bowl of soup you get that comes with your lunch when you go to your local chinese restaurant from 11am -3pm.

My mouth dropped when I saw it, I quickly closed it. NO the hell he didn't just order that. Who is he lying to? My pot of stew came. I opened the lid to the stew. I saw the steam rise from the liquid, the mushrooms rose ontop. It smelled delicious. I stirred it to get a look at what else was in this vegan creation. (yeah it wasn't a vegetarian restaurant, it was vegan). It smelled great. I scooped the rice on my plate, poured some of the brown gravy ontop. I picked out a piece of fake shrimp and fake scallop along with some mushrooms (the only sure thing in there). I looked at him and his pitiful bowl of soup, but knew he wasn't hungry. But courtesy said to offer him a taste. "Did you want a taste?"

"Oh trust me I'm going to get some?" He seemed so eager.
Oookay. I nodded my head "OK"

I did not like the fake shrimp, or the fake scallop. I looked up and saw him take two to three scoops of my rice and heft it onto his plate. Then he took the same amount of scoops of my stew and hefted it onto his plate. At this point sheer and utter shock and stupifidication (yeah I know not a word) took over. I closed my eyes and opened them. No, he really was eating all my food.

"Mmmm, this good." he shoveled another hefty spoonful in his mouth "This is real good."

I don't remember what I said or if my mouth actually moved. It may have been a gentle nod or I may have just stared. At some point it occured to me to eat my food. But I actually didn't like the fake stuff I wanted the gravy and the vegetables. My plan was to pick over it and eat what I liked, of my meal. I snapped out it long enought to eat some more of the food on my plate. Which incidentally had about one third of the amount of food on his plate.

"Man this is good, I'm going to take some of this home to my brother."

What!

He continued to talk. I surfed around the pot and fetched a mushroom of sorts. He got seconds. He contined praising the food and talking about somethign else. I looked around the restaurant for the hidden camera's. Punked wasn't out yet, but Candid Camera sure was.

I guess since I had stopped eating he thought I was finished. Which I was. At that point I realized it was his meal. It had to have been. He asked for a to go plate. He continued to talk and chat and talk. "My brother is going to love this." He took the rest of the race and placed it in the styrofoam container then poured the broth on top. The little crunchy chips the sat on the table, he dumped into the small tray of his to go container. As he was closing the lid, he paused like an after thought and pointed to the food. "Oh did you want some of this."

I kindly shook my head "No."

He continued to talk, I looked at my watch. He paid the bill and we left. THEN he wanted me to listen to one of his groups. Really and truly I wanted to leave. I was HUNGRY!!! After all, I hadn't eaten dinner.

After listening to it I hopped in my car and darted on the expressway. I frantically searched the highway signs for locations of fast food restaurants. Wendys! yay, I exited and followed the signs, and FINALLY had my dinner. That was the BEST freaking burger of my life.

Worst Date - When "Bob" ate my freaking dinner.

Okay you're turn. What is your worst date.